Confidence Shaken....

I did my larger 3 mile run Saturday. BRUTAL. Wow, it didn't go well. I dunno, after about 1.5 miles my body just gave out....I still kept going...but the battle was on. It was not fun. I can't even say why it was so hard...it felt like I had my breathing under control though...I did lose control of it several times and had to walk several times. I walked very fast and only for a few minutes but still. So Sunday morning (when I get outta work) is supposed to be 4 miles. I can't even process that with my brain right now. I felt like a barely lived through 3 miles....now I'm gonna do 4 miles? I must be insane. Not only that but then next week's training is 4 miles a day for 3 days and then a 3 miler and a 6 miler......YOWSERS! I AM INSANE. But, i can do this...right? Yes Yes I can...and will! If Oprah Winfrey can run a full marathon then I think I have what it takes run the half.

I go over and over it in my head... it's not about skill...the skill is "one foot in front of the other...repeat...quickly" I have that skill. Then it's just a matter of endurance...mind over matter... drive and confidence. If I dedicate myself to this training and follow it like I should...I'll get there. I will. But, some how when I'm running and it's hard, and I'm sweating and breathing hard, and I feel like I can't take anymore... I doubt.
I'm reminded of a really good quote from Joyce Meyer...
"I'm not where I need to be, but thank God, I'm not where I used to be. I'm okay & I'm on my way!
I need to remember this with my training... I'm okay & I'm on my way!
Maybe it's just some child like mentality of mine that dictates that if It's possible for me to do this...then it shouldn't be hard? Consciously I know this isn't true...practice makes perfect. But, now I start to wonder how many things in my life I avoided because I couldn't do it perfectly the first time I tried. Hmmm...
but anyway...

Today's Run went like this:
Start time: 10:00 AM
End time: 10:41 AM
Time: 00:41:00
Distance: 3.00 miles