Two run Thursday

No, I don't plan to run twice every Thursday, that's just how today went...lol. I did my run first in the afternoon while hubby was at work.

Then I ran with him as he did his C25k W2D2.



He seems to benefit from me running with him. So I'm going to try to keep it up.

U-Pick

Yum!
Nothin' better than fresh hand-picked Strawberries!



We took the kids to pick strawberries this evening. It was a good day for it 70's and cloudy so we didn't have the sun beating down on us.



A local farmer does this u-pick every year. I love supporting them...and I love farm fresh fruits and veggies!!


That's my little man picking berries...so cute.


and my baby girl....testing the product. (it's u-pick...not u-eat...lol)


That's me showing Buddy which berries to pick.


That's my hubby holding our bounty...that's 12 pounds worth of Strawberries!! Cost us $15. We'll be eating strawberries forever.

I also started the week out right with a nice 6 mile run this morning. I ran down to the local park and back. Coming back is a challenge coz it's all up hill. Ugh.
I got home just before it started to rain.

Today's Half-Training Run:
Time: 1:21:06
Distance: 6.04 miles
Pace: 13:25

Low Mileage...

....MUST STICK TO SCHEDULE....



......



Didn't happen.

I get freaky about my running schedule. I plan this running thing all out and I like to stick with my plan. My precious, precious, plan.




Yeah, like that.

Adorable right?

This week wreaked havoc on my schedule. Missing runs, shorter distances, even the cherished Sunday Long Run suffered. The week of 6/20 I had kicked out 27 miles! This week...just 16 miles. Between family, work, and sleep, it seemed to be impossible to find time to get my runs in. This morning, I was just too tired to run. So I didn't, I slept.
I figured I'd just run later in the day, no biggy. Well, when later came, I had family over...so I couldn't leave then, and when they left... Hubby suggested I do C25k W1D3 with him...so that's what I did. after we did his run we walked around the neighborhood for awhile, to build up some miles for me. We got 3.76mi and hubby was spent so we walked home. Not the "long run" I was hoping for. But, something anyway.

I'm a little bummed that my plan got so messed up. But, Monday starts a new week. A fresh start. That is supposed to be a rest day for me. But, I'm not resting. I feel like I've been resting all week. So tomorrow I'm running... not sure how far. Maybe 3mi..maybe more, we'll see.

Shopping FAIL

Every day is a new day I'm reminded of my past
Every time there's another storm I know that it wont last
Every moment I'm filled with hope
cause i get another chance
But I will try I will try
Got nothing left to hide

I'm beautifully broken and I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it.

Beautifully Broken by Ashlee Simpson

So today I went shopping, should have ran my scheduled 3 miles, but I went shopping instead. Things were going great until I stopped by Dick's Sporting Goods to look at running shorts...

At this point I should mention, I don't own a full length mirror. I also should mention that the Vegan diet seems to make you feel amazing and energetic. So I haven't even thought about my body image in several weeks. I've just been running and eating and living life. I know from my clothes that I've been losing weight but I haven't stepped on a scale in a few weeks...I get number crazy. So I have vowed to stay away from the scale until July 1st. all that said...

I walked over to the running shorts feeling like Ms.Thang. I knew I wanted/needed compression shorts for my thigh-flab issues. But I also wanted to get some shorts. then I saw them, shorts with built in compression shorts. How cool. I'm trying them on!

XL? L ? I have been losing weight I'll try them both. And with that I skipped off to the fitting room. Beaming with confidence I grabbed the L first. and put them on, slid them right on! Hell Yeah I knew it! Go Vegan! Go Vegan! Yeah. Then I looked into the mirror... and the party was over. Staring into the mirror I saw my legs. The legs I feel so proud of, the legs that run 9 miles....but, what I felt, and what I saw were not the same thing.


In my head my legs were awesome, powerful, beautiful. But when I looked in the mirror, they were old, and fat. The compression shorts ended in a tender part of my inner thigh and cut in just a bit, enough to really showcase the lovely thigh cheese I was growing there. My mood sunk. I wasn't a runner, I wasn't fit and healthy. I was old, fat, used up, worthless. A fool to believe that true change was possible. I tried on the XL and it was bigger, but the issue was the same. I am a size L and I should be happy about that...but I wasn't. I gathered everything and went back out into the store. Hubby was a bit stunned by my quick mood change, but he caught on to what was going on. I told him I was ready to leave, I wanted out of the store.

An old saga was trying to play itself out again. The words spilled into my brain like the lines of a well rehearsed play. "Not good enough", "Give Up", "Failure". These are all the lines my Internalized Parent/Super Ego likes to feed me. The next step in the play would be the appearance of my Id/Child which would mean crying, eating bad food and feeling depressed...sometimes for weeks. Those two, (parent and child) would battle it out and when the dust settled, my ego would then emerge from the rubble to clean it all up again. That's when I'd "start running again" or "go on a diet". The initial trigger was different each time, but the result was the same, conflict, pleasure seeking, depression, guilt and fear.

We had some different errands to run so hubby took care of those as I sat in the car thinking.

It is true, I'm not where I want to be weight wise. But, that shouldn't negate the the fact that I have lost weight, or that I'm a size smaller now...yeay! My inner thighs do have some cellulite on them and maybe I'm not ready to where shorts that short. But, I'm coming along, I just have to give it time. NOTHING CHANGED the only thing that was different was my emotions. I can choose to look at the positive, or focus on the negative.
It is my choice.

But, You know what? It's all good. Because, I saw this whole thing attempt to play out. I caught it in time to do something different. I realized the trappings of my past, I felt sad for the moment, but I kept to my plan. I did not medicate with food. I reasoned through my emotions and I've got a run planned for Sunday morning. I may still stumble but Perfection is not the goal. Moving forward in health...that is the goal!

Let them eat...Pizza?

lol, yes I'm still vegan. And yes I've been told vegan pizza is an abomination... but hey, don't knock it till you try it! Tonight was pizza night. Yummy pizza which is definitely a favorite of mine. This time, done vegan. It's not hard to make a plant based pizza, and it can be AWESOME. Here's how I did it.

Get a pre-made plant based pizza crust. Yes you could and probably should make your own, but I'm really bad a making dough...so premade crust it is.



1 Natures HiLights Brown Rice Pizza Crust (looks to be about 10" diameter)
1 Jar Eden Organic Pizza Sauce
1 bag of Daiya Mozzarella Shreds
Spinach (chopped)
green pepper (diced)
Roma tomato (sliced like pepperoni)
mushroom (sliced)
black olives (sliced)

I follow the directions for the crust and pre-cooked it then pulled it back out and topped it with the pizza sauce and veggies and viola... vegan pizza.



The Diaya really seems like cheese, and is amazing on the pizza!
Since there were 2 crusts in the package hubby and I figured we'd each cook up one and make it our own way. Well if there is one thing I can say for sure about vegan eating...it is FILLING. So I actually only ate 3 of the four pieces you see in the picture above. We should have cooked up just the one crust after all. Old Pizza habits die hard..sigh. From now on we are going to just make one pizza and each eat half.

As for running, Hubby talked me out of the 5 miler I had planned for today, and into running the C25k W1D2 with him. It was nice to go back to my C25k roots. W1D2 is so easy now. It's amazing how fast my mileage and endurance have grown

Today's Memory Run:
Time: 01:02:20
Distance: 3.26
Pace: 19:07

A change will do you good.

Today I had to alter my running plans. I hate, hate, HATE, changing my running plans on the fly. But, This morning I was just toooooo tired (worked all night) so I went home and went to bed. I didn't sleep very well either. I was up by 3:30pm about 5 hours sleep...not enough, but I couldn't sleep anymore either. The house was HOT, 88 degrees outside with humidity around the 80% mark UGH, sooo, yucky.

Well, after considering all that I decided 3 miles may not happen today. I even thought running may not happen at all today. No...I couldn't live with that. So I decided on 2 miles...walk, run, crawl, whatever, just 2 miles of movement. So, out I went, the sun was OUT, there was NO AIR at all. Everything was stagnate and wet. Beads of sweat formed, pooled, dripped but did not evaporate to cool me. I felt slow and weak, runkeeper broke into my music and said 13:56 minute/mile. Really? Wow, it felt much slower, more like walking with style...lol.

As I neared the end of my sweat-fest I noticed the sun disappearing...



Dark clouds were rolling in, the temp quickly dropped about 10 degrees, and the wind picked up. I wish I could say that helped, but by that time - I was about spent. I had less than half a mile to go and I could hear thunder now. Eekk! I gotta get movin'! Finally 2 miles, I bolted back to the house, about 10 minutes later. The storm began...shwoo. I just made it! It was a doosie too. Lost of lightening, thunder, rain pouring down in torrents, tornado watch...CRAZY. Just look...



That big green dot is me.
It rained for about 2 hours then I decided it was safe to head out to the store and grab a few groceries. When I came out of the store again, I was pleasantly surprised by a tiny rainbow trying to form.
Can you see it?



Today's Crazy Training:
Time: 29:09 minutes
Distance: 2.10
Pace: 13:53

4 day weekend re-cap...

Yeah, I was gone for a bit. I had four long luxurious days off from work! I got my runs in as planned all week. I even did a 3 miler on Thursday that was run at a 12min/mile pace.
Before I knew it Sunday was upon me, time for another long run. I chose the White Pines Trail again. The plan 4 miles up 4 miles back for a nice even 8. and if I felt I could, I'd push it to 4.5 and get a 9-er in.

Since my 3 mile runs are now poppin' up to a 12 min/mile pace I knew I'd have to start holding back on my long runs. The first mile was kinda crazy as I found my groove...10 min/mile, slow down 15:30...oops speed up. I finally settled in at 13:50 to 14:00min/mile...good enough. I ran...and ran....and ran. I felt light and full of energy.I went over the overpass again...and kept going.


Each time I do a long run I get a little further down the trail and see something new. Sunday it was this.



So far this trail takes me over a river, over a highway, and under a road. Never a dull moment. On the way back I actually lost track of the miles... I lost a whole mile deep in thought...forgot I was even running..lol. When I got back to the car I checked runkeeper 9.03miles...FREAKIN AWESOME!! That's 2 hours of straight running Uh-mazing.
I spent the rest of the day chillin' at the beach and swimming.

Sunday Long Run:
Time: 02:05:56
Distance: 9.03 miles
Pace: 13:58

I'm a believer...

Wow, I really just can't even believe this is me.
I can't believe I'm running like this.
Today I went for my long run and not only did I run farther than ever before but I also ran faster than my normal time by a full min per mile. This is insane!!
This whole process is pretty amazing to me. How someone can go from gasping at running 5 minutes straight to now running for over an hour and a half at a time... it's just mind blowing.

So my plan today was to run 7 miles. That would be 3.5 miles down the trail and 3.5 miles back. I think I must have over shot and ended up going an extra .25 because when I got back to the car runkeeper said we had gone 7.53 miles. Oh well, the extra half mile doesn't hurt. At the half way point I slowed down for just a bit to chow down of some Sharkies
They say "Vegetarian" not Vegan on them, but I cannot find anything animal based in the ingredients. So I guess they're ok.

I do feel that they gave me a certain boost for the second half of my run I felt a renewed alertness come over me about 25 minutes post chowdown. That lasted right up until the last half mile and then it slowly started to fade away. So that last half mile to the car was pretty much all me. Everything I had left.
After my run, my knee was feeling kinda, i dunno.. weird. Swollen, sore, maybe a little poppy, kinda concerning. Several hours later it felt ok but it has me worried thankfully I have this stuff ordered and on its way.

I'm hoping this will help my knee out some. Otherwise, I guess the next step is a running assessment and new shoes. One step at a time.

Sunday Long Training Run:
Time: 01:38:00
Distance: 7.53 miles
Pace: 13:01

Foggy Morning Run

This morning It was so neat to be running outside! It was quite foggy. It gave the whole neighborhood a cool, spooky, dreamy sort of vibe. Check it out..

I really enjoyed running this morning. So quiet, so pretty. Every now and then I'd hear an owl hooting. The rest of the time it was just be and the chirping of the neighborhood birds.

Foggy Half-training details:
Time: 00:49:54
Distance: 3.43 miles
Pace: 14:34

You've Changed...

So I walk up on high
and I step to the edge
To see my world below
And I laugh at myself
while the tears roll down
'Cause it's the world I know,
it's the world I know.

- Collective Soul


I'm feeling a whole mess of things today. During my run today the song "It's World I know" came on. It got me thinking about my journey this year, both physical and emotional. Right now, as I look back to who I was and how I felt in 2010, it feels distant. I remember it from an emotional vantage, anger, failure, self-loathing, depression. I know it, but it feels like it's gone from me now. Like a veil has been removed and I see things clearly. I look back on my life and I'm sad, for that person I was, for the lost time. I look forward and I have a bit of fear, this path that I'm on is unknown. Who am I? Who am I becoming? The changes are welcomed but scary at the same time.

How I've grown thus far
- Knowledge of internalized parent/child conflict or Super-ego/Id
- Completion(with relative ease)of the C25k program
- Signing up for the Half Marathon in Virginia
- Beginning the half marathon training program
- Becoming Vegan

They don't look like much begin written out like this, but the sum of these things result in a completely different me. A scary new me that I don't recognize, but I'm liking. I guess to put it simply I have had a huge, or maybe a few semi-huge "ah-ha moments" as Oprah would put it. Mid-Life Crisis? Maybe that's where I was at in 2010. I don't feel in crisis right now. Actually for the first time ever I feel in control, unstoppable, amazing. But since I've done nearly a complete 180 in 6 months time, it's not surprising that I'm still a little uncertain of it all. The kids have officially noticed over the last few days. Saying things like, "wow your happy" or "why are you so happy" for them to notice a change in me says a lot.

I think this "happy" they speak of is really just peace. I accept where I am right now, both weight wise, and running wise. I know I have a ways to go before I'm down to my goal weight, but I have every confidence that I will get there in time. I am not worried or obsessing over it. I am not weighing my food or counting calories. Not torturing myself with exercise. I'm just making Vegan food choices, listening to my body and running. I have definitely tried to beat, hate, torture, deprive and verbally abuse myself into shape. That never really worked for me. But now I appreciate and I'm even in awe of my body. I'm amazed as I push it further and further, mile after mile. My body takes it and keeps going. I AM Strong after all.

Half-Marathon Training:
Time: 00:57:00
Distance: 4.03 miles
Pace: 14:08

Lovely Long Run

When a day starts out like this, you know your in for something special.

Look how the clouds seem to just glow, truly beautiful...

Anyway,

last night I found this website called jog.fm it shows you songs based on your running pace. It's a handy little web site. I organized a playlist based on my pace as suggested by the website and had it already for my morning run. This morning I had my long run and it seems to me that the only logical play to do this run is on The White Pines Trail. It's 92 miles long. Just bikers and runners, no cars to watch for, the perfect place. The plan for today was up the trail 2.5mi and then back down to the car, 5 miles for the day. It was a nice morning about 70 degrees and very low humidity so I was comfortable running. My new place list was great, nice and steady. I ran and enjoyed the flowers and the trees. I saw two bunnies and a cardinal, you can tell these are city animals, they let you get very close before the shuffle off to safety. When I got to 2.5miles (my turn around point)I could see just ahead something that looked vaguely like...a covered bridge? It couldn't be more than a mile away, I thought. I have to see what it is. So I decide to keep running and check it out. When I got up there, this is what I found...



Not quite the "covered bridge" I was hoping for...lol. But, an interesting view nonetheless...

I looked down at runkeeper 3.06 miles, looks like I'm doing 6 today instead. So I ran the 3 miles back, those 3 miles went so fast! I ran faster and faster since every mile brought me close to the car and air conditioning! lol. I made it back to the car and I was beaming! Not only had I run a FREAKIN' 6+ miles but I did it a few seconds faster than my normal pace!! I'm really starting to feel like I can do this!!

Today's Trail Run:
Time: 1:27:27
Distance: 6.26 miles
Pace: 13:58

Cut the Cheese...

Well I've been vegetarian for almost 2 months now and I gotta say I'm liking it. I have less cravings for food, I feel better, and have more energy. I've been slowly pushing toward Vegan. That is my personal goal. But one thing has stood in my way. CHEESE! "Behold the power of CHEESE!" With my last visit to the health food store I found Daiya and it is nothing short of amazing. But, what is more amazing is...I don't NEED it. I add it sometimes for taste, or lets face it a quesadilla isn't quiet right without cheese. But, I don't add it to EVERYTHING like I did regular cheese. I was a huge pizza addict...5 slices, double cheese. OOoey,Gooey, lovely cheese. When Wendy's had their "Wendy's Cheddar Lover's Bacon Cheeseburger" OMG amazing. But I think more than the food...this was at play. The Food Fix Is In
I'm not trying to go conspiracy theorist on yah. But, hey, something just isn't right here. Four months ago, I was scarfing down pizza and ice cream and ooey gooey cheesy deliciousness and today...meh. Actually the thought of the texture and mouth feel of ice cream for me is less than desirable. Yuck. I KNOW, I can't believe it either...and that thought is in my head!! After all the gimmicky diets, all the fads, all the self hatred all the weakness, all the binging on off limits foods, all the failure. Could it be I was addicted to food? If that's true, then vegan is the only way to go, at least for me. And MANY other American's who struggle with weight and yoyo dieting. We shall see. I'll make myself the guinea pig and start fully vegan today. No calorie restrictions, no measuring food, one 1 rule, no animal by products. I''ll tell you, giving up meat...not that hard really. Giving up dairy...hmm. But I really feel that we've been dooped here. Think about it, anything that businesses could add to their food that could make it addictive would only make them sell more products, and make them richer, come on, really, do you think Coke or McDonalds really care about you? Do you think it's in their best interest to keep you safe and healthy? I DON'T if they can make money off killing us very slowly they will. $$$ Bottom line, it's just business baby. Oopsie, our product gave you diabetes after eating it for 15yrs, well how could we have know that? Not our problem.

Gray Day

Well it's another gray day in Michigan.

Looks like it may storm, glad I got my run in when I did. Today I took my pace a bit slower and just tried to really enjoy the cool air and scenery. It was 63 degrees the morning when I went for my run. It's supposed to get up to 80 today and be humid again. Which is why I knew I had to get the run in early. I suppose it would be a good idea to get some runs in during the hot part of the day. After all the race is in Virginia Beach. I feel like I have a bit of an advantage here though, I train on some pretty sketchy, hilly terrain. It's Michigan so we have potholes galore and weird shifted sidewalks. My ankles get a real work out when I go outside just from negotiating the terrain. Whereas in the Virgina Beach area it's all flat and smooth. So I'm hoping that will make the race a bit easier for me once I get out there.

Today's Number's look like this:
Time: 01:01:05
Distance: 4.26
Pace: 14:20

Happy National Running Day!!

Yep today is National Running Day!
I have a 4 mile date with my treadmill in the morning that's how I'll be celebrating it. Today's run (technically yesterday since it's after midnight)was hard but still went well. I keep my same pace but ran a much hillier part of my neighborhood and even though to was 8:30AM it was already 80 degrees with 69% humidity. YUCK. Go Michigan! But, I powered through and ran the whole thing.

My sweaty run:
Time:43:17
Distance:3.06
Pace:14:08