The problem with Trying...

try (tr)
1. To make an effort to do or accomplish (something); attempt:

Trying implies that failure is an option, that a half hearted attempt at an unrealistic goal, ending in failure is acceptable and grounds to give up and never "try" again.

I've tried dieting, I've tried following a race training program, I've tried really hard at a number of things, and you know what...I think I "try" too hard.

I was thinking about this as I was running this morning. The plan was to run 4 miles, which I did. I wanted to try to beat my pace from my last run. I'm always thinking like that, more, faster, better, stronger. I rarely appreciate the now, I'm always looking to the future. So, I set my goals and started running, by the time I had completed the 4 miles I was beat and uncertain if I should be happy or not. The run felt slow and I seemed to take too many walking breaks. Dark thoughts and doubts loomed in my mind.... I'm so unhealthy... I'm so slow...I'll never get any better. Once I hooked the ipod up to the computer to compare my times, I realized that this had actually been one of my faster runs and something to be proud over...not depressed by. That's the problem with me and trying...

1. I set unattainable goals
2. Attempting to achieve the goal is Uncomfortable/ Dissatisfying
3. I feel weak and inadequate
4. That lowers my confidence
5. I become defeated and quit.

It's the same pattern every time, apply this pattern to my diet now.

1. I set an unrealistic weight loss goal
2. Attempting to achieve the goal is Uncomfortable/ Dissatisfying
3. I feel weak and inadequate
4. That lowers my confidence
5. I become defeated and quit.


That pattern is really destructive, and is probably the reason why I have gained and lost the same 50 pounds over and over again. Today I noticed this my running, as I thought of ChiRunning and maintaining good form, my running seemed more natural and unforced, whereas, when my mind wandered back to personal bests and good pace times I became more and more...stressed, my shoulders tightened, my elbows clenched, my hands became fists, I got tired and had to walk. It was a vicious cycle but a great metaphor for trying too hard.
When I try hard, I'm unhappy. When I'm unhappy, I eat. I'll never achieve lasting weight loss or true healthiness by living under these extremes. I've got to learn to relax and take what comes naturally. That isn't to say that I should be lazy, but there is a BIG difference between putting solid effort into something, and being masochistic.

"Do, or do not. There is no try." ~Yoda

I really felt like a knuckle dragger today

It was Hot and HUMID today.
My run required MAXIMUM effort.

Today was a hard 3.2 mile run. Not only was it hot and humid, but I think I've got some running issues. I think my form is bad, specifically my upper body. I think, well I'm pretty sure, that I carry my arms too close to me and lock my elbows...I also think my back ends up hunched over from all the tension in my arms. I may have to take some running form pics/video to see what I'm doing. All I know for sure is after I run my neck and shoulders feel tired and worn out. I must be doing something that isn't quiet right. But, despite the heat and my running form I still got a good 3.2 miles done, so I'm pretty proud of that!

Hubby ran today too, did 2.5 miles. He said he walked most of it and he didn't feel like he could call it running. I told him lots of runners walk, there is no walking police, no rules that say you can't walk from time to time...lol. He's very nervous about training for this 5K. He says he can't imagine himself looking or feeling any different than he does today. It does seem that way. I kinda feel the same thing about my 10 mile run. It's hard to imagine my body just going and going like that. But, logically I know with time and persistence it will happen...least something will happen. either I'll get faster or fall flat on my face...lol...either way I'm moving forward!

Today's Run Stats:

Distance: 3.20 miles
Time: 45:21
Pace: 14:10

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! " ~ Rocky Balboa

The runner and the pea stone

This morning I decided to run outside, for one...it was finally not a bazillion degrees out! and for two, I need to get used to running outside again. So off I went looking at the sky, looked a bit dark and ominous... it was threatening to rain me out. But, I took off anyway.
For the first half mile I was feeling kinda woozy...ughhhh, barf.
No, I didn't barf, but the forward motion of my running was affecting me this morning and not in a stomach friendly way. I kept going and after about the first half mile I was feeling great. I trotted along, impressed by my stamina, one mile down...no problem. Passed a jogger who was heading the other way, gave a big smile and a little wave then continued on my merry way. Another half mile done...this was easy. Then came the HILLS.
At pretty much the start of mile 2 and stretching for the next mile is a VERY HILLY road. I started the first incline...very small probably 2% but I could feel it, "keep going, keep going, just to the mailbox, I can make it that far, I'm getting there, I have more, just a little more, to the fire hydrant, I can do it...now it's down hill, I can run it..." I kept going. When I got to the bottom of that hill I could feel my legs growing weaker. Ugh, and I had a stone in my shoe too,crap. I couldn't stop to mess with that, so I slowed down and tried to tap my toe on the cement, trying to send the rock into the toe of my shoe. Sort of reminds me of the story the princess and the pea..lol....the runner and the pea stone...a cautionary tale...lol. I struggled along. Part way into my journey up the hill a car pulled out...I had to stop.
My legs were screaming at me, so I walked at a quick pace up the hill to the top. It was downhill now so I figured, I had to run again and I picked up the pace. That section is a VERY gradual down hill slope which ends in a curve. I jogged down the hill and thought, "I'll go to the curve the I can walk for a bit", no such luck. At the bottom of the curve there is a house, and in the driveway stood a guy watching his dog wander around the front yard, I assumed he was bored to tears waiting for the dog to pee. He heard me coming and looked up. "Well, jeez, I can't stop and walk now", I thought, so I kept on running. Down, down, down the road til it curved again and I was safely out of sight..lol.. isn't it funny the mind games we play with ourselves. Once I was out of sight, I slowed to a walk to catch my breath and cursed the pea stone in my shoe. I got to the stop sign and realized I was almost done...less the half a mile left, yeay.
Then I looked at the hill ahead of me. It is definitely the steepest hill in our area. It's not very long at all, so I started up it...nope, not happening, my legs were mush, so I walked, staring at the ground concentrating, step one, step two... finally to the top...the end of my run was a nice gradual slope down to my house. That part was nice, I even mustered up enough energy to run up my driveway...which is another somewhat steep, very short hill...lol. I'm very glad that I ran outside today! It was a great day for it! Even though I had to run over half of it with a pesky stone in my shoe...lol.

Official Stats:
Distance: 3.12 miles
Time: 44:23
Pace: 14'13"

I'm gonna WHAT now??

The Challenge has been made. I have no choice I must do this....


After much talk of health, and losing weight and not dieing...hubby has agreed to do a 5K. He is a struggling compulsive eater who has been in OA (overeaters anonymous) for about 3 weeks. He threw down the gauntlet and announced that he'd found a 5K that he wanted to do...on one condition. I do it with him....but not the 5K portion...you see this is a 10 mile & 5K road race...linky here he wants me to do the 10mile run while he does the 5 K that way we are both nervous and uncertain if we can complete it. I think that running a 5K could be a wonderful experience for him...so I pretty much HAVE to run this 10 mile race. This, from the girl who ran for 3 miles along the board walk while in Virginia Beach and nearly puked. Nearly puked over 3 miles...how am I ever gonna do 10 miles? Oh but that's not even the best part...the best part is...there is a cut off time! Yes, in order for my time to count I MUST finish in under 2 hours. That means less than a 12 minute mile...I'm currently doing about a 14 minute mile. I sure do have my work cut out for me. Although so does hubby...he weighs around 400lbs...he's 6'4" so he carries it pretty well...but that's still a lot of weight to move around for 3.1 miles.
So that is the current plan. September 19th, 2010, I should be running 10 miles. Should be interesting!!

Dosha Quiz time... Lots of links 2 share.

Ahhh, the internet... no matter what you wanna know about yourself, there is an internet quiz to take that will tell you all you need to know! lol. It's a particularly slow night at work tonight so I decided to take some online quizes and figure out what my Dosha is.
If you have no idea what a Dosha is a quick Wiki link will fill you in.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayurveda
Well I took 2 different quizzes on line and the verdict is the same... I'm a Pitta Person.

I have to admit I see my Pitta-tude in alot of the questions... in fact when I'm "in a mood" my hubby has referred to me as Spicy...lol.
So below you'll find links to the quizzes I took...had to take 2 just to be sure...lol

http://www.ayurveda7.com/dosha-quiz.htm On that one I got a Vata: 9 Pitta: 28 and Kapha: 12

in the second quiz my numbers looked like this:

My overall Dosha is Pitta

In my body:
Vata 2
Pitta 6
Kapha 4

In My Mind:
Vata 3
Pitta 9
Kapha 0


The link to that quiz is here: http://www.whatsyourdosha.com/quiz/
though I must say, after reading all the descriptions...I think I have a good bit of Kapha in me too. This web site has a nice description of each.
http://www.joyfulbelly.com/Ayurveda/article/dosha/Pitta

Your turn...What Dosha are you?

I'm back!! and ready to Rock!!

First a few Vacation Pics....

Nothing says HEAVEN like sandy toes!

Virginia Beach at Dusk

I'll post more as I go through them...I still haven't done that yet...lol...Vacation-Hangover!!
Vacay was just the thing to jump-start my zeal for life. Being in Virginia Beach helped me unwind and forget all life's craptastic glory. I feel renewed, rejuvenated and down right giddy. I'm already excitedly planning to go there again next year...and on the agenda for next year...being fitter!! I've pretty much decided...I'm a beach bum. I want to try everything... surfing, parasailing, kiteboarding you name it...I wanna try it.




H3LL- ASS- YeS!!
I should be doing those things....RIGHT NOW. I need to do those things. That however is going to require...some athletic core strength. Probably some endurance too. Thankfully running will give me those things..yep, between, yoga, my stability ball and my treadmill, I should have all I need to get in shape for my next vacay. Incidentally...I was so active on this vacation that I actually lost 2 lbs!! 2bs in a week...that's freakin awesome! I was so stoked this morning I ran a little over a mile. 1.15 to be exact... ran as in just ran...no walking...no breaks just pumped out a mile. And I could have done more..but I was pressed for time. For good measure, though, I took a 2.5 mile walk this evening!! BooYah