Sunday, May 17, 2009

hmm, should I?

I feel for Kirstie Alley I just saw her picture on the cover of people while I was at the grocery store. That girl has more ups and downs than a yo-yo! Course I'm not exactly what you'd call innocent. I've had my share of ups and downs. I'm on an upper right now. Hubby had gall bladder surgery the first week in May and that threw me all outta whack. I was struggling before that but his surgery was the nail in my diet coffin. He's feeling much better now, He's gone back to work and life is returning to normal. Except for my diet that is. I'm finding it so difficult to say no to sweets and fast, crappy, fat laden foods. I do mental gymnastics..bending a twisting facts in my head until ...EUREKA!!... I can...neigh....I MUST eat this burger. UGGGH. The shame.

So, I'm thinking, and thinking, about a prospect so scary I can barely give it utterance..... Half Marathon.... Am I NUTZ??? I think so!! my sis-in-law is running the Virginia Beach rock 'n' roll half marathon in September. She invited me to run it with her. AND I'M THINKING OF DOING IT!!! I am insane. I'm so Koo-Koo I actually made up a list of pros and cons to doing this.

I should not run it because....
  • I may not be able to complete it
  • it costs money to run the race
  • it costs money to get out there and back
  • I might injure myself training
  • I might embarass myself by not being able to finish
  • I'm too weak
  • I'm scared I'll prove to myself I'm a failure.
  • I might not stick to the long training schedule

I should run it because...

  • it's healthy
  • I'll lose weight
  • it's something to be proud of
  • I'll gain a sense of accomplishment
  • I can prove to myself I can do it.
  • it's a nice little vacation
  • it's a good confidence booster
  • it'll force me to eat healthier
  • it's a good example to set for the kids
  • I'll have fun before/after possibly during the race
  • there will be concerts along the way
  • it'll be a cool memory to have when I'm 90

I guess what it comes down to is.... am I gonna let fear keep me from doing something good?
I dunno. I worry that I won't have time to train. I'm not even sure I can run a mile...I've gain a bunch of weight this month. I am not all the way back to where I started. but still..

At this point, I am just gonna try to get in the habit of getting on the treadmill right when I get outta work. I'm not gonna put big lofty numbered goals on those runs I'm just gonna get on the treadmill. Hopefully keeping it simple and stress free will give me...something. Some sort of confidence. I'm also gonna quit obsessing about how fast I'm going. If indeed I do a half marathon the goal is gonna be TO FINISH. No special time, No special anything just try to cross the finish line while remaining

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