Sunday, June 21, 2009

Confidence Shaken....

I did my larger 3 mile run Saturday. BRUTAL. Wow, it didn't go well. I dunno, after about 1.5 miles my body just gave out....I still kept going...but the battle was on. It was not fun. I can't even say why it was so felt like I had my breathing under control though...I did lose control of it several times and had to walk several times. I walked very fast and only for a few minutes but still. So Sunday morning (when I get outta work) is supposed to be 4 miles. I can't even process that with my brain right now. I felt like a barely lived through 3 I'm gonna do 4 miles? I must be insane. Not only that but then next week's training is 4 miles a day for 3 days and then a 3 miler and a 6 miler......YOWSERS! I AM INSANE. But, i can do this...right? Yes Yes I can...and will! If Oprah Winfrey can run a full marathon then I think I have what it takes run the half.

I go over and over it in my head... it's not about skill...the skill is "one foot in front of the other...repeat...quickly" I have that skill. Then it's just a matter of endurance...mind over matter... drive and confidence. If I dedicate myself to this training and follow it like I should...I'll get there. I will. But, some how when I'm running and it's hard, and I'm sweating and breathing hard, and I feel like I can't take anymore... I doubt.
I'm reminded of a really good quote from Joyce Meyer...
"I'm not where I need to be, but thank God, I'm not where I used to be. I'm okay & I'm on my way!
I need to remember this with my training... I'm okay & I'm on my way!
Maybe it's just some child like mentality of mine that dictates that if It's possible for me to do this...then it shouldn't be hard? Consciously I know this isn't true...practice makes perfect. But, now I start to wonder how many things in my life I avoided because I couldn't do it perfectly the first time I tried. Hmmm...
but anyway...

Today's Run went like this:
Start time: 10:00 AM
End time: 10:41 AM
Time: 00:41:00
Distance: 3.00 miles


Don Kern said...

Don't worry--sometimes all the runs don't go as you planned. You'll do great. Hope to see you at the half in Grand Rapids in October.

and the adventure continues....
Don Kern

Amy@RunnersLounge said...

Way to go! A couple tricks I have learned to get through the long runs is to slow down overall - it makes it easier until my body adapts. And when I want to quit, I make myself run so slow I am barely moving. Before I know it, my body will speed me back up to a "running pace".

If you want some more support as you train for your half - stop by and join the Half Marathon Challenge in the Lounge.

Keep running!