Too Humid!!!

I haven't run in about a week. It's just too HUMID, ugh. The air here in Michigan is so thick with moisture that you can hardly breath and it's that way all the time...morning and night! It's been about a week and a half straight of EVIL humidity, like 97%, crazy. I don't have air conditioning at my house so there is no relief. Well there is air at work so I get relief when I'm there...and in my car.
Since I've been sweating bullets for the past few days, I've been drinking lots of water. Ever notice how much you pee when you drink lots of water. I feel like getting some Depends er something...lol.
On the pulse side though...we've been using practically zero natural gas. Taking COLD showers, not using the dryer as much. Only thing that is getting heat is water for the dish washer. That should be nice on the ole pocket book.
how bout you guys, what are you doing to stay cool?

It's all in your head...

When I'm feeling less than, feeling hopeless, I usually look up quotes from great people. People who I feel have (or had) great knowledge. I know I don't have it all figured out...in fact I don't think I have anything figured out...lol. Kudos to those who believe they do, for your sake I hope your right! For myself, I'll go with Socrates..."The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." So aside from Quoting Socrates...I'm reading quotes from an actor I like...



Bruce Lee, I loved his son Brandon too! R.I.P.

The thing that stealing my confidence is mainly a woman thing. The monthly annoyance has come to visit me, it's filled me with cramps and taken my desire to run. The lack of running has planted seeds of doubt in my mind. The race grows closer every day and a missed day of running feels like it puts me so much further behind.

“If you think a thing is impossible, you'll make it impossible.” ~ Bruce Lee

I'm trying to keep a positive perspective, for myself and my hubby. He's struggling with his emotions as well. The fears of ...it's too far, too hard, I won't make it. Loom around us. They are just fears, not reality. Our reality hasn't been written yet...we make it everyday. Each day that we wake up and run puts us that much closer to our goal of completing the race. I'm not letting fear make me give up on my goals. I plan to have a solid run tomorrow. It may or may not be great run, since I don't feel my best. But I plan on getting out there and moving anyway!

“The possession of anything begins in the mind” ~ Bruce Lee

another great Bruce Lee quote which goes well with this article!
Become a better runner in your sleep! A real good read on the power of confidence and believing you can do something.

The problem with Trying...

try (tr)
1. To make an effort to do or accomplish (something); attempt:

Trying implies that failure is an option, that a half hearted attempt at an unrealistic goal, ending in failure is acceptable and grounds to give up and never "try" again.

I've tried dieting, I've tried following a race training program, I've tried really hard at a number of things, and you know what...I think I "try" too hard.

I was thinking about this as I was running this morning. The plan was to run 4 miles, which I did. I wanted to try to beat my pace from my last run. I'm always thinking like that, more, faster, better, stronger. I rarely appreciate the now, I'm always looking to the future. So, I set my goals and started running, by the time I had completed the 4 miles I was beat and uncertain if I should be happy or not. The run felt slow and I seemed to take too many walking breaks. Dark thoughts and doubts loomed in my mind.... I'm so unhealthy... I'm so slow...I'll never get any better. Once I hooked the ipod up to the computer to compare my times, I realized that this had actually been one of my faster runs and something to be proud over...not depressed by. That's the problem with me and trying...

1. I set unattainable goals
2. Attempting to achieve the goal is Uncomfortable/ Dissatisfying
3. I feel weak and inadequate
4. That lowers my confidence
5. I become defeated and quit.

It's the same pattern every time, apply this pattern to my diet now.

1. I set an unrealistic weight loss goal
2. Attempting to achieve the goal is Uncomfortable/ Dissatisfying
3. I feel weak and inadequate
4. That lowers my confidence
5. I become defeated and quit.


That pattern is really destructive, and is probably the reason why I have gained and lost the same 50 pounds over and over again. Today I noticed this my running, as I thought of ChiRunning and maintaining good form, my running seemed more natural and unforced, whereas, when my mind wandered back to personal bests and good pace times I became more and more...stressed, my shoulders tightened, my elbows clenched, my hands became fists, I got tired and had to walk. It was a vicious cycle but a great metaphor for trying too hard.
When I try hard, I'm unhappy. When I'm unhappy, I eat. I'll never achieve lasting weight loss or true healthiness by living under these extremes. I've got to learn to relax and take what comes naturally. That isn't to say that I should be lazy, but there is a BIG difference between putting solid effort into something, and being masochistic.

"Do, or do not. There is no try." ~Yoda

I really felt like a knuckle dragger today

It was Hot and HUMID today.
My run required MAXIMUM effort.

Today was a hard 3.2 mile run. Not only was it hot and humid, but I think I've got some running issues. I think my form is bad, specifically my upper body. I think, well I'm pretty sure, that I carry my arms too close to me and lock my elbows...I also think my back ends up hunched over from all the tension in my arms. I may have to take some running form pics/video to see what I'm doing. All I know for sure is after I run my neck and shoulders feel tired and worn out. I must be doing something that isn't quiet right. But, despite the heat and my running form I still got a good 3.2 miles done, so I'm pretty proud of that!

Hubby ran today too, did 2.5 miles. He said he walked most of it and he didn't feel like he could call it running. I told him lots of runners walk, there is no walking police, no rules that say you can't walk from time to time...lol. He's very nervous about training for this 5K. He says he can't imagine himself looking or feeling any different than he does today. It does seem that way. I kinda feel the same thing about my 10 mile run. It's hard to imagine my body just going and going like that. But, logically I know with time and persistence it will happen...least something will happen. either I'll get faster or fall flat on my face...lol...either way I'm moving forward!

Today's Run Stats:

Distance: 3.20 miles
Time: 45:21
Pace: 14:10

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! " ~ Rocky Balboa

The runner and the pea stone

This morning I decided to run outside, for one...it was finally not a bazillion degrees out! and for two, I need to get used to running outside again. So off I went looking at the sky, looked a bit dark and ominous... it was threatening to rain me out. But, I took off anyway.
For the first half mile I was feeling kinda woozy...ughhhh, barf.
No, I didn't barf, but the forward motion of my running was affecting me this morning and not in a stomach friendly way. I kept going and after about the first half mile I was feeling great. I trotted along, impressed by my stamina, one mile down...no problem. Passed a jogger who was heading the other way, gave a big smile and a little wave then continued on my merry way. Another half mile done...this was easy. Then came the HILLS.
At pretty much the start of mile 2 and stretching for the next mile is a VERY HILLY road. I started the first incline...very small probably 2% but I could feel it, "keep going, keep going, just to the mailbox, I can make it that far, I'm getting there, I have more, just a little more, to the fire hydrant, I can do it...now it's down hill, I can run it..." I kept going. When I got to the bottom of that hill I could feel my legs growing weaker. Ugh, and I had a stone in my shoe too,crap. I couldn't stop to mess with that, so I slowed down and tried to tap my toe on the cement, trying to send the rock into the toe of my shoe. Sort of reminds me of the story the princess and the pea..lol....the runner and the pea stone...a cautionary tale...lol. I struggled along. Part way into my journey up the hill a car pulled out...I had to stop.
My legs were screaming at me, so I walked at a quick pace up the hill to the top. It was downhill now so I figured, I had to run again and I picked up the pace. That section is a VERY gradual down hill slope which ends in a curve. I jogged down the hill and thought, "I'll go to the curve the I can walk for a bit", no such luck. At the bottom of the curve there is a house, and in the driveway stood a guy watching his dog wander around the front yard, I assumed he was bored to tears waiting for the dog to pee. He heard me coming and looked up. "Well, jeez, I can't stop and walk now", I thought, so I kept on running. Down, down, down the road til it curved again and I was safely out of sight..lol.. isn't it funny the mind games we play with ourselves. Once I was out of sight, I slowed to a walk to catch my breath and cursed the pea stone in my shoe. I got to the stop sign and realized I was almost done...less the half a mile left, yeay.
Then I looked at the hill ahead of me. It is definitely the steepest hill in our area. It's not very long at all, so I started up it...nope, not happening, my legs were mush, so I walked, staring at the ground concentrating, step one, step two... finally to the top...the end of my run was a nice gradual slope down to my house. That part was nice, I even mustered up enough energy to run up my driveway...which is another somewhat steep, very short hill...lol. I'm very glad that I ran outside today! It was a great day for it! Even though I had to run over half of it with a pesky stone in my shoe...lol.

Official Stats:
Distance: 3.12 miles
Time: 44:23
Pace: 14'13"

I'm gonna WHAT now??

The Challenge has been made. I have no choice I must do this....


After much talk of health, and losing weight and not dieing...hubby has agreed to do a 5K. He is a struggling compulsive eater who has been in OA (overeaters anonymous) for about 3 weeks. He threw down the gauntlet and announced that he'd found a 5K that he wanted to do...on one condition. I do it with him....but not the 5K portion...you see this is a 10 mile & 5K road race...linky here he wants me to do the 10mile run while he does the 5 K that way we are both nervous and uncertain if we can complete it. I think that running a 5K could be a wonderful experience for him...so I pretty much HAVE to run this 10 mile race. This, from the girl who ran for 3 miles along the board walk while in Virginia Beach and nearly puked. Nearly puked over 3 miles...how am I ever gonna do 10 miles? Oh but that's not even the best part...the best part is...there is a cut off time! Yes, in order for my time to count I MUST finish in under 2 hours. That means less than a 12 minute mile...I'm currently doing about a 14 minute mile. I sure do have my work cut out for me. Although so does hubby...he weighs around 400lbs...he's 6'4" so he carries it pretty well...but that's still a lot of weight to move around for 3.1 miles.
So that is the current plan. September 19th, 2010, I should be running 10 miles. Should be interesting!!

Dosha Quiz time... Lots of links 2 share.

Ahhh, the internet... no matter what you wanna know about yourself, there is an internet quiz to take that will tell you all you need to know! lol. It's a particularly slow night at work tonight so I decided to take some online quizes and figure out what my Dosha is.
If you have no idea what a Dosha is a quick Wiki link will fill you in.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayurveda
Well I took 2 different quizzes on line and the verdict is the same... I'm a Pitta Person.

I have to admit I see my Pitta-tude in alot of the questions... in fact when I'm "in a mood" my hubby has referred to me as Spicy...lol.
So below you'll find links to the quizzes I took...had to take 2 just to be sure...lol

http://www.ayurveda7.com/dosha-quiz.htm On that one I got a Vata: 9 Pitta: 28 and Kapha: 12

in the second quiz my numbers looked like this:

My overall Dosha is Pitta

In my body:
Vata 2
Pitta 6
Kapha 4

In My Mind:
Vata 3
Pitta 9
Kapha 0


The link to that quiz is here: http://www.whatsyourdosha.com/quiz/
though I must say, after reading all the descriptions...I think I have a good bit of Kapha in me too. This web site has a nice description of each.
http://www.joyfulbelly.com/Ayurveda/article/dosha/Pitta

Your turn...What Dosha are you?

I'm back!! and ready to Rock!!

First a few Vacation Pics....

Nothing says HEAVEN like sandy toes!

Virginia Beach at Dusk

I'll post more as I go through them...I still haven't done that yet...lol...Vacation-Hangover!!
Vacay was just the thing to jump-start my zeal for life. Being in Virginia Beach helped me unwind and forget all life's craptastic glory. I feel renewed, rejuvenated and down right giddy. I'm already excitedly planning to go there again next year...and on the agenda for next year...being fitter!! I've pretty much decided...I'm a beach bum. I want to try everything... surfing, parasailing, kiteboarding you name it...I wanna try it.




H3LL- ASS- YeS!!
I should be doing those things....RIGHT NOW. I need to do those things. That however is going to require...some athletic core strength. Probably some endurance too. Thankfully running will give me those things..yep, between, yoga, my stability ball and my treadmill, I should have all I need to get in shape for my next vacay. Incidentally...I was so active on this vacation that I actually lost 2 lbs!! 2bs in a week...that's freakin awesome! I was so stoked this morning I ran a little over a mile. 1.15 to be exact... ran as in just ran...no walking...no breaks just pumped out a mile. And I could have done more..but I was pressed for time. For good measure, though, I took a 2.5 mile walk this evening!! BooYah

it's not me...it's you.

As part of a writing project I'm participating in, graciously hosted by http://binduwiles.com/ , I have decided to: "Write a letter to what is making you sad."
I chose FEAR because I feel it is the root of my inner turmoil. So, without further adieu, here is my letter. Enjoy.



Dear Mr. Irrational Fear,
Pack your crap and get the hell out, that's right, we are through. Look, I know you said you were just protecting me. I know you want me to be safe. But, your a control freak and I'm done with this abusive relationship. We've been together a long time now and in the beginning it was nice to hide behind you. When something came along that threatened to push me out of my comfort zone...you said no, and helped keep me calm. I thought that was what I needed. But, as the years progressed, your grip got tighter and you got down right mean. Friends would ask me out for drinks or to a movie and you'd tell me, "no, you can't go." You tell me crazy things like, "you'll just look stupid." or " you'll humiliate yourself." You grew increasingly paranoid everyday. To the point where you wouldn't even let me go out for groceries without implying that something horrible would happen if I did. You won't let me try new things, you just tell me, "Your are such a F%^k up you never do anything right". You shoot down my confidence before I even try. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about...remember the painting I wanted to try. I went shopping for the paints and canvas...but you wouldn't let me buy them. You told me it would be a waste of time and money becuase I have no talent. You told me it was frivilous and childish and I gave up that dream because of you. Oh, and even earlier this year, when I was doing the couch 2 5K program, you just couldn't stand that fact that it was starting to give me confidence so you verbally abused me until I quit. You call yourself my friend, my ally, but your actions speak louder that words. You are no friend of mine! My real friends have quit calling to ask me out becuase they hate you and they know you won't let me do anything. You try to twist that arround on me too, telling me that they hate me because I'm fat and stupid. But, I see it clearly now, it's never been about me. It's been you, all the time, and now I hate you too. When I think of all the wasted years I spent on you, the number of times that you made me cry...or made me feel inferior, oh, it's just a damn shame! I'm not innocent though, I let you do this to me. I should have known. I should have realized how controling and paranoid you were becoming. But, I believed your lies. I made your delusion my truth. Living under your control has made me miserable, alone and afraid. I feel like a prisoner and I have had enough! That's why I have to say we are through. I don't need you or your "protection" anymore. I want to live...I want to be free! I want to feel good about myself again. I can't do that with you around. I'm sorry Mr. Fear but, I hate you and I never wanna see you again.
~Kat

Unexpectedness...

Open, shapeless, ebb and flow...

My yoga, the book I'm currently reading, and recent life events are causing me to investigate myself in new and foreign ways. Opening me up to the concept of non-control. I'm not sure but I think I could be, or have been, a control Nazi. If my life were just blah, and my kids were just blah, and my house was just blah, etc,etc,etc....then I could be happy. The only part missing is the part where I ACTUALLY LIVE!! I've spent so much energy on making things "a certain way" that I forgot that the true beauty in life is the element of unexpectedness. The flower that blooms in the most unlikely place.

Hubby and I have been dealing with a lot of relationship things the past couple years. We still love each other very deeply but, we've come to realize that neither of us is very healthy, mentally speaking. He is a binge eater and I'm filled with fear...of what I'm not yet certain. His issues, are my issues. When he's doing bad, I feel helpless and then I fail as well. I gain weight, I stop moving, I get depressed. I can't control him...can't make him stop. I feel like I can only stand by and watch him chow his way to an early grave. For reasons he can't tell me, coz he doesn't know himself.

The 21.5.800 project has been bringing this topic to the forefront. I think I've been wanting to talk about it for awhile now but it's hard. Addictions are not easy things to talk about. They are self-inflicted and hearing about them you think the person is weak and they should just stop it. I can tell you, when I look into hubby's eyes, he has all the desire in the world to stop. He is good for a time and then...things fall apart. When he's deep in a cycle I swear his soul grows dark, there is a dense and choking gloom about him that seems to draw the very life out of you. He is tortured by this affliction and I feel cannot help him. When he's bad, I have to hide money from him, he will take it and spend it on fast food, burgers, pizzas, you name it. He'll eat in the car to hide how much he eats, he'll eat and night to hide as well. I feel I am getting caregivers syndrome. But, he needs me, I keep him trying at least. I shudder to think what would happen to him if I died or something.

That is why it hard taking time off to go to Virginia Beach. But, I really need the escape. The beach has always been my sanctuary. When I'm there..all stress seems to melt off from me. Like it's being washed away by the waves. I grew up on a lake so water has been a part of my earliest memories, I have always loved it. My mom often tells a story of me as a toddler and my obsession with water. She had to watch me closely because if you took your eyes off me for a second I'd be neck deep in that water, I had no fear. I'm not sure why me and water are such great friends but it is at times the only thing that can bring me peace.

Lying in savasana, and some simple healing yoga is all I have been doing. My body is tight and twisted. Yoga opens my senses up to observe how painfully stressed I really am. Letting go is hard, clearing my mind is hard. Even making time for me is hard. Worst of all relaxing is nearly impossible. It frustrates me and infuriates me and at times makes me want to cry. This process is slow and arduous but it is my sincere hope that by the end of this year, some permanent changes will have taken place...for the better this time.

You know, I wonder if my control Nazi-ism comes from the desire to conceal hubby's secret, and my own codependent behavior. If I can keep things a certain way...we won't appear so screwed up. People won't know, family won't know, kids won't know how far the rabbit hole goes...maybe I won't know...then I won't have to deal with it until it smacks me in the face. Maybe it isn't a control at all but rather and unwillingness to accept. Hubby has sought counseling and OA. I'm skeptical and really I guess unwilling to hope for better. I'm afraid that hope will only betray me. I don't share these things with hubby, he needs my devoted support, it's hard for him to admit he needs help and support...this is big for him.

In the midst of all this is everyday life and stresses, which I have assumed the bulk of, to allow him time to heal and work on himself. This all added to my already stressed out self. But, I feel like if I can just shoulder it long enough...it could all pay off in a big way. Quite the gamble huh?

Positively Positive Possibilities

So I'm trying to get ready for work tonight (3rd shift). I go to the cupboard to get a flavor packet for my water...Box is there...packets are all gone! Annoyed, I head to the living room to yell at kids for not only drinking all my flavor packets but also leaving the stupid box in the cupboard so I'll think we still have some. On the way to the living room, I trip over my daughters shoes which are naturally just laying right in the middle of the floor...Thank You! So I yell at the girl. Pick your shoes up and take them to your room...you don't just leave them laying about like that someone could trip over them and break their neck...is that what you want? On to the living room I go...Who drank all my flavor packets? I glance about at the sea of deer-in-the-headlights expressions, well I know it was a kid because daddy doesn't drink them and I wouldn't have put the box back empty when the trash can is 2 steps away. They are all quiet. Fine...thanks a lot guys. I finish getting ready, say bye to hubby, then I'm out the door. On the way to work, ROAD CONSTRUCTION, oh boy!! Out of the blue they decided to reduce a normal 4 lane highway down to 1 lane, on Saturday night so there is plenty of traffic....and of course there are the standard idiots that stay in the left lane until the last second, then hold up traffic as they try to butt in...HELLO...DID YOU NOT SEE THE LAST 5 GINORMOUS GLOWING ARROWS TELLING YOU TO MERGE RIGHT? No, No, that's ok...cut right in front of me that's fine, you are after all so much more important than me. JERK. Needless to say, after all that I arrived at work...LATE. I wasn't in trouble...but they did give me crap about it...the sarcastic crap...which actually helped me to feel a little better.

All that negative energy was building in me, and with each new thing the negativity grew it was like a snowball of hate. Laughing even about a small part of it helped me to breathe...and put it into perspective. Behold, the power of the mind!

That all led to thoughts on positivity. Glass half full, half empty...I think most of us have figured out where we stand on that one. I know for the biggest portion of my life I've been a half-empty person. I really wanna change that and tonight really kinda illustrated that for me. So in the slower times here at my job I've been checking out positivity. That brought me to the LIVESTRONG website. That talked alot about internal dialog. I know I have problems there. I'm very down on myself and sometimes just down right mean to myself. I think I'm weak, inconsistent, and unattractive, I'm repeatedly telling myself all the ways that I'm unacceptable. When I go out to perceive the world, I'm only looking for those things that support my view of being unacceptable. That's obvious, when you consider how lightly I take praise and how easily I can become destroyed by poorly fitting clothes, other people, or even my own reflection in a door or mirror.

So, by that logic simply changing the way I talk to myself I could start a positive change in my life. It would cause me to go out in the world and start to perceive things in a nicer way which should boost my self esteem and make me more positive.

I hesitate to call this brain washing, since that term has such a negative connotation. but this is in effect a sort of Brain-Cleansing. How I got such negative energy this evening is a mystery. But, by speaking to myself and out loud and not clearing that energy...I essentially gave it soil to grow in...you know what I mean?

So what do you think? Are you a Debbie Downer or a Suzie Sunshine?

She's got a ticket to ride...

Well I booked my flight today. Fear or no Fear I'm going to Virginia Beach! Baba and I plan to drive out there. Then after several fabulous days, I'll be flying back...all by myself. Gulp Tonight I have been researching all the ins and outs of airport security. I wanna try to get by with just my purse and 1 carry-on bag. So I'm trying to figure out what the real no-no items are.
I'm not too worried about making it on to my first flight, since I'll have my girls there to help me find my terminal and see me off. But, after that, I'll fly into Atlanta and then take a connector flight to Detroit. Once in Detroit my hubby will be there to pick me up. I'm sure it will go fine. But, I am nervous about it! Mostly about finding my way around Atlanta Airport and making it to my connector flight on time.
Since, I'm gonna be gone out to VA, that leaves hubby at home with the kiddos. He's already planing some quality time with them in the form of movies and video games...lol. I'd rather be in VA...lol.

Today's exercise consisted of a 0.75 mile walk and a 15 minute Savasana. Not much, but at least I got something in. I'm searching for the energy to re-commit to some higher impact exercise...the kind that takes some poundage off. It'd be nice if I could lose a few before my lil vacation.

Yoga Newbie... Yewbie

Booooooo....ok that was lame...lol.
I'm new to yoga though, pretty much brand new. I don't know any of the words, and only a few of the poses. I've heard of downward dog, and the cobra pose. That is about the extent of my knowledge. But, I'm excited to learn. My body is very rigid and pretty much void of any flexibility. Hopefully in the next 21 days I can change that.

Today's yoga consisted of the classic sun salutation and then a nice shavasana. That shavasana or corpse pose is relaxing but, I find that my mind wants to wander around and it's hard to keep my focus on relaxing my body and my breathing. I'm sure this will come in time. Relaxing is actually very hard for me but the thing I think I'm going to find PRICELESS about yoga is it gives me permission to unwind, relax and really stretch out my body. Almost every other activity I do leaves me tense and tight. I think this is why so many people love Yoga.

I wanna get the lingo down too so over the next 21 days I'm going to learn one word a day. I'll post it here if you wanna learn with me.

Today's Secret word is asanas, special props to anyone who got the secret word reference...loved PeeWee's Playhouse back in the day...lol.

Anywho, asanas = yoga postures. I did several asanas today.

Feeling a bit inspired....and a poem emerges.



Meditation
deep, calming, quiet.
Restless thoughts
fluttering about the mind
are dismissed.
In silence
they are irrelevant
unnecessary.
Peace descends
softly
as a warm blanket
gently cuddling the soul
swaddling and healing it
as the moments pass.
Soon the soul will emerge,
rejuvenated,
ready for the day.


With letters,work, and this blog...I think I still might be shy of 800. Oh well, tomorrow is another day!
Tomorrow's plan is to run with forgiveness... allowing my body to dictate how far and how fast I go, do some yoga, eat well, and be kind to myself. (343)

Challenge..and Fear

Well I've stepped out into a scary new venture...at least for me. I joined Bindu's 21.5.800 challenge. This is scary for me and I'm not even sure why really. The challenge is 21 days of practicing yoga five days a week and writing at least 800 words a day. I've been getting into yoga as of late, and I also write letters, poems, comments in forums, and in this blog quite often. So, I'm not sure why this venture seems so scary to me...but it does, and fear is something that I've avoided all my life. I have a very small box that I live in, metaphorically speaking, due to my avoidance of fear. Being a stay at home mom a few years back started me down a path of Anthropophobia- Fear of people or society. I hate meeting new people...and social situations, parties, and get togethers...unless I know everyone that will be there. Sad, really sad. I guess I should clarify Hate... I get nervous to the point of shaking, feeling ill, cold sweats dizziness. I even experience this in leaving a comment in a forum or on a blog from time to time. Why, I don't know... Fear? fear of being made fun of, appearing stupid, being judged...maybe all of the above. What ever, Why ever...I don't like it. I have very few friends because of it... it's hard for me to open up and let down my guard. I think people sense this about me too. Maybe they wonder if they are doing something wrong...or offending me somehow. That's never the case. I'm actually a very easy going, silly goofball to those that know me...and that goof inside really wants to escape and be known. This year has really been a turning point for me. I've really been taking a hard look at me. I realized that the basis for a lot of the things I do is fear. For example, I have the chance to go to Virginia Beach the end of this month, my sis-in-law...I'll use nick-names (BaBa) is driving down there to visit my other sis-in-law (Meju). So I have a very cheap ride out there, just help with gas, and it's sandy beaches galore...woohoo...so what could be bad about that? Getting home, that's what! Baba is going to stay out there for 2 weeks, I cannot stay out there that long I can only have a handful of days and then I have to come back...finances and my job require me to come back. So I'll have to fly back. We can squeeze out the money for a plane ticket so that shouldn't be a problem. The only problem is me. I'll be alone, flying back, on a plane with lots of strangers, going to an airport with lots of strangers. Sitting next to people I don't know. Someone might talk to me, OMG what then. This whole plane thing is FREAKING me out. Almost enough for me to just say forget it. But, I could really use the vacation...chilling with my girls on the beach sounds FAB. I don't want FEAR to make me miss out on something that could be so rejuvenation for my soul! SO, in the true spirit of change...I'm going. I've requested the time off of work. They have -not officially, yet- okayed the time off. I've told people. I've worked into the budget, I've shopped for my dreaded plane ticket. Not one but two stops coz it's cheaper...more anxiety though. FEAR or no Fear...I'm doing this...I need too. Fear can't run my life forever. When I'm on my death bed I don't wanna look back and think about all the things I should have done. What a waste. This life is too short for me to waste it all on stupid fear. I'm not sure how this will go, but I do know...when it's all said and done...I'm sure I will have much to tell...lol.
Wow, that was quite the tangent...lol. I knew that the trip has been on my mind but I didn't realize I needed to write a book about it...lol. I guess maybe 800 words won't be so hard after all.

In case you were wondering...that was 721...lol. This plus the letter I just wrote Meju is definitely over 800.

A life full of changes...

So I've been cleaning up my lifestyle a bunch, I've gone to lean, mean, raw and green. I've started a veggie garden, been switching my foods to at least all natural and totally organic when I can. I'm trying to make all the meats I get grain fed, pasture raised and hormone free. I gave up Diet Coke and bottled water, I now drink my filtered water from a stainless steel water bottle. Take that carbon footprint! This all has happened since April! now that I look at it, that's a lot of change in such a short amount of time. I'm still learning all the time.
There have been some sad casualties along the way. Like just last week I gave up my FAVORITE skin lotion.

I totally LOVED OPI's Avojuice Grapefruit Juicie skin lotion. but when I looked it up on skin deeps website... it got the worst score ever! I might as well have been rubbing radioactive sludged on my skin...probably would have been better for me...and it'd have a nice glow...terrible aren't I...lol. So since it's so bad for me...and I now know just HOW BAD it is I had to go and switch my skin lotion. Ugh, and I hate that, coz I'm very picky about my lotion... I want to put it on and be done with it... I don't wanna be all sticky and gooey for hours after application, I don't wanna feel like I need a towel to wipe my hands after applying lotion. It should soak in to my horrible dry skin. So I went to harvest Health Foods and tried a bunch of different lotions . I love the fact that they have testers right there so you can try the stuff.
Final verdict: Giovanni Hydrate Body Lotion, Cucumber Song.

That was the bottle that came home with me. At $9.79 is wasn't horrible. the bottle is decently sized and it feels luxurious to put on. It doesn't soak in as fast as the Avojuice did but, after a few minutes, like less than 5 minutes, I'm ready to go. My skin is sooooo smooth after using this lotion that my husband even noticed and said, "man, your skin is smooth all of a sudden" That to me says something. After 15 years of watching me put on skin lotion he only now notices I have soft skin...men...lol. You can order it on amazon if you don't have a local health food store. I highly recommend it.

RIP Avojuice I loved you so...but you're no good for me. Sigh

Randomness

So I was puttering around the net looking for races near by...since my race in Virginia is going to be a no-go due to lack of fundage. Anywho, I found this cutie of a race, Bailey's Doggie Dash. How cute it's a 5K race that me and my pooch can do together.
It sounds like a lot of fun! I think I may just do this one...course I'll have to consult Mz. Bridgette and see if she has time in her busy schedule...lol.



In other news, the nice people at Endorphin Warrior are awarding one of EricaH's lucky readers with a chance to win a Training Tech Workout Hat of their choice.
To enter,visit EricaH's blog today!

The Plan

Well, I've picked up running AGAIN, it's a love/hate relationship. One of my problems has been pushing myself too hard. I expect unrealistic things from my body and then hate all over myself when I fail to achieve. That kinda pressure usually leads me to an open bag of cookies with a side of Häagen-Dazs...that's no good! So this time around, "the plan" is essentially No Plan. I had my sights set on the rock-n-roll half in VA but it looks like there won't be enough money for a trip out there, and school shopping for the kids, so I'll have to pass on the race again....GRRRRR. I will run that race one of these days!! But now I'm eyeballing something a bit closer to home...like in my home town. The Grand Rapids Marathon. It's in October so I have plenty of time. My regimen will include running 4 to 5 times a week and increasing the distance each week. My only expectation is going to be my body....if it tells me we can run more ...we will, if it says cool it I need rest, then I will rest. This should help me keep at it for the long hall. And as I go along ..... I'll pick up the Hal Higdon half marathon for a novice training plan, taking time, when needed, for my body to acclimate instead of pushing it to the brink. Small victories, instead of my do it or die trying mentality. I'm going to try to love running again...instead of feeling beaten by it.

Nothing more than feelings...

Well as you may have noticed..me and running haven't been getting along so well. Actually movement in general has been quite a core. I dunno what's happened to me, I'm burnt out I guess. It all just seems so hard...everything. :>/ Am I depressed or something? I don't think so I don't feel sad...more like uninspired. I haven't seen much in the way of weight loss...but that I suppose should be expected since I haven't been running...like at all.

Ya ever feel like your one kind of person on the inside you have thoughts and ideas about how you really are...but then try as you might you succumb to all your bad habits and wind up being this totally other person that you don't even really recognize...that's kinda where I'm at right now. On the inside I feel like I should be this, glowing, fit, yoga posing, ultra runner who eats clean organic food and feels fabulously zen all day long.

But on the outside people see me as an overweight, 30something mom, who as an obsession with reading health books and mags so that she can NEVER APPLY IT TO HER OWN LIFE. What good is all the knowledge if I never apply it. I have read countless books on healthy eating and nutrition...Most women my age are heading to the bookstore to buy fiction romance novels. You won't find me in that section, pretty much ever. I'm always elbows deep in a dozen different non-fiction self help books, mostly on healthy eating, well being, or exercise. I have to admit that I feel weird sometimes even standing in that section of the bookstore or library. Coz I hide the fact that I'm fat and have problems so well...lol. Standing in the self help section says I'm lost...taking 3 or 4 books with you says....I'm hopeless!! I guess maybe I feel like I can think or read my way to being fit. But, it hasn't worked so far.

I have a million excuses, for the world and for myself. I don't have time, I'm not talented at running some people are born to be runners...I'm not one of them. I even pull out the ole well it's just that I'm working so much... I have been working 56 hour weeks. But I've done that and ran as well. All those things are just cop-outs. But there is something definitely in the way of me morphing into the person that I feel like I am inside. I just, for the life of me, don't know what that thing is.

I'm a big fan of Biggest Loser and with every person it seems that they come to this point where they break down and cry, sometimes yell...and then they have this big epiphany and everything changes then all of a sudden they have drive and confidence. You can see it in their faces, there is focus there instead of defeat. I want that for myself. I catch a little bit of it from time to time...but it isn't lasting. I just don't know how to make it stick.

2010 Grand Rapids Kidney Walk

Another gray day in Michigan...about 65 degrees and no sun.
That's how the 2010 Grand Rapids Kidney Walk began.
This was my first time participating in the Kidney Walk. My family got together and formed Team Brent in honor of my brother-in-law. This is a pic of Team Brent...

the guy with the Blue and Yellow hair is Brent. He agree to color his hair all crazy if we made our $$ goal....lol.After battling with juvenile onset diabetes which claimed his eyesight, foot and kidneys we can proudly say that Brent is a transplant survivor of 4 years. Today was a good day for him and his spirits were high! He managed to walk just about 1 mile of the 2.70 mile course.

Part of the trail lead us along the Grand River which made for some nice pics and we got to see some wild life (turtles and ducks).

The other part of the trail took us along the highway where numerous cars and trucks honked in support. I haven't yet heard how many people walked...I read somewhere that last year they had 800 some people attend. I wonder if we beat that this year? There were a lot of people there.

At the end of the day our team was able to raise $2,158.15 for the National Kidney Foundation, and I got some much needed exercise in!
Below is a picture of my oldest son, my hubby and me.


Distance: 2.70miles
Time: 55:34
Pace: 20:33

Relaxation...

Ahhh, Saturday. The beginning of my vacation. 7 days of not having to go to work. I have no big plans, just relax, run, sleep... rest. I need it too I've been working nearly everyday so far this month since we are short handed. 6 and 7 day weeks take their tole on your nerves. I'm thinking at some point I'll be hitting the White Pine Trail for some Chirunning Practice!



The White Pine Trail is a monster of a trail that goes probably around 100 miles on what used to be an old railroad track. The trail starts out pretty close to my house, in north west Grand Rapids and goes all the way up to Cadillac. From my area to just the neighboring town it's 4.2 miles. I'd like to try that this summer that will be awhile though...8 miles round trip...I gotta be ready for a run that size.
later gaters!

Hellllllloooooo...lol...

No, I didn't die or fall off the planet. I'm still here, slightly defeated. I hit a wall at week 6 of the C25K and haven't been able to get past it. Part of my problem is my weight, I know that for sure. So I've cleaned up my diet a ton and I'm working on getting down a few pounds before I attempt to get back into my C25K training. In the interim I've been reading...and changing my life.

As far as my eating goes. I read, "Master Your Metabolism" by Jillian Michaels. It's a great read mostly about hormones and metabolism. This book explains, in an easy to read format, all the little nuances that go on within your body as it responds to the food you put in it. I really enjoyed it. I won't get into any real detail here..just get the book and read it, decide for yourself. I just borrowed a copy from my local library I totally could not put the book down!!...and now I'm going to buy it...that's how impressed I am.
So, armed with my new knowledge last week I started to change the way I eat. This Friday I'll check with the scale and find out if my body agrees with my mind that this book is the bomb.

After that, I borrowed another life changing book, I know...too bad reading doesn't burn more calories...lol.
It's the book, "ChiRunning: A Revolutionary Approach to Effortless, Injury-Free Running" by Danny Dreyer. This is a great book too. I'm not sure about the whole "Chi" thing but the science behind why this works is solid! After analyzing the soles of my shoes and the numerous pics my hubby took at my 5k race a few years back, I realized that I have bad running form. AND the way I run really looks like it would promote a lot of injuries...it looks very....jarring compared to the way they suggest to run. This book is great but the DVD is even better. I had to get it to see a visual representation of this method. I ran a little tonight to try to implement some of the techniques of this new form and let me tell you it was a lot to remember..coz I really do that much wrong when I run...but I did notice a difference...a positive difference. I tried to relax my legs (like cotton) and keep my core in-line (hard like steel) and for a moment I had it...my legs seemed to melt away...but, they quickly came back. I can only guess this is due to the fact that I have almost zero core muscles. That is something I'm going to have to work on.

If you are interested, here’s some of the Chi Running basics I'm working on thus far:
•maintain good posture
•keep your core in a straight line (shoulders, hips, and ankles)
•lean forward from your ankles, keeping your body in a straight line (this makes it so you are sort of falling instead of using your leg muscles to push you forward)
•your upper body is extended forward while your legs swing out the back (your knees shouldn’t pump in front of you)
•keep your lower legs limp (chi cannot flow through tight muscles or joints)
•don’t pronate. run along a tightrope, leading with your knees (this is why my knee has been bothering me)
•swing your elbows behind you
•don’t cross your center line with your hands

it's a lot to think about when you are trying to run. But, like I said I think it's helping. If your interested and don't wanna go to the library or buy a DVD there is a brief video here that explains it pretty well ChiRunning Simplified

anyway, that's what I've been up to...we'll have to wait and see how these two things work for me. They are both large life changes...but, I'm ready for something new.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~Albert Einstein

W5D3 - Finally! I know, that took awhile.

So yeah, It's been awhile. I'm not gonna lie...the 20 minute straight run scared the pee outta me. I really was pretty sure I wouldn't make it through, I know I'm not ready. Well, anyway, The first 11 minutes went by well enough, I started to get winded and sore but then I found my groove. But, as minute 12 approached, my calves started burning. Once they started screaming at me I new my run was limited and by minute 13 I had to walk...so I slowed down to a power walk which I really think actually made it worse so I picked up my run pace again...which immediately made my calves start screaming again. Yes, that last 7 minutes was a hellish exercise in futility. Running, power walking, running again, awe hell I can't, walk again until finally the cool down. I know that W6D1 is 10 minute runs with breaks. So I am going to advance myself to week 6 but I'm going to stay on Day 1 or Day 2 until I fell like I can really run that much coz W6D3 is a 25 minute straight run and I don't want it to turn out like this run.

The Details:
Distance: 2.07 miles
Time: 30:53
Pace: 14:55

I'll be participating in the 2010 Grand Rapids Kidney Walk on May 2, 2010. The Kidney Walk is a non-competitive walk event with a route that is about 2 miles in length over generally level terrain. If you like to support me in this event you can visit my page and make a donation online. Any help is greatly appreciated!! :o) BTW: it's a S L O W loading page.

W5D2 - The run that almost wasn't...

I made my mind up not to run tonight...but then I did anyway. I wasn't feeling the best. My kidneys are feeling sore...or at least the kidney area is sore on both sides. Not so sore that I'm in pain just tender enough that I notice and am concerned about it. I'm gonna wait it out through the weekend and if I still don't feel better than I'll see about getting into the doctor. Because of that, I thought...well I'm not gonna run tonight. But as the night wore on, hubby left for a friends house and that left me in the house with the treadmill and nothing to do. So I got on it and completed W5D2. My kidneys didn't seem to effect my running much so I figured it wasn't too bad on them. The first 8 minute run flew by...by the time I looked at the itouch it said 30sec left. AWESOME!! That was very encouraging. The second 8 minutes was more difficult and seemed to drag on I was keenly aware of the burning in my calf muscles. I slowed the run down some to be sure I could finish without walking and I'm please to say I made it through! Hooray! I'm a little spooked by W5D3...I looked ahead and saw my first straight run of 20 minutes. I hope I'm ready! I have a lot of faith in the C25K program and each week the runs are hard toward the end...but I'm able to get through it. I'm pretty sure W5D3 will be no different.

Today's Run Details:

Distance: 2.08 Miles
Time: 31:57
Pace: 15:20

Discombobulated..... W5D1

That's how I would describe today's run...discombobulated. I got all ready for my run only to find that I left my Nike+ sensor in the car...the car my hubby took to work...uggghhh. I hate that. So, no nice Nike read out for me...and no pleasing graph at the end of my run either. Oh well, I was wasn't gonna let that stop me from getting my run in.
I hopped on the treadmill and got down to business. Today's big challenge was three big 5 minute runs. The last 5 was H A R D. I got tired after the first 2 minutes. But, I wasn't feeling very well either since I'm also trying to quit Diet Coke...you can check out my other blog for the gory details about all that. Nonetheless, I got through that last 5 minutes without walking. Once done I turned the treadmill off and started stretching. I was thinking about adding the info to the computer and what information I'd need and that's when I remember....I never looked at the miles once I got done...I had been trying so hard not to stare at the numbers that I've completely gotten myself to ignore them, which is fine when I have NIKE+ to tell me my distance...Crap! So with the info I did have total time and speeds, I calculated the estimate of how far I went and learned an important lesson don't leave the Nike+ sensor in the car!!

The approximate details of my run ;o)
Distance: 1.90 Miles
Pace: 16:18
Time: 31 minutes

W4D3..not bad

Awesome, I survived week four. I'm a little late I know... I hate when 2 or 3 days go by between my runs. I want to have them be nice and predictable from one week to the next but I haven't found my rythm yet. I haven't found a good time to plan my run into.
But, I keep on squishing those runs in here and there...lol.. On to Week 5

Run Details

Distance: 2.11 Miles
Time: 33:19
Pace: 15:43

W4D2 - The Birthday Run

Yeah, it's my birthday.
I gotta say... I did think, "Maybe I won't run today, after all, it's my birthday!" But, no...I must run...lol. So I did, I told myself I'd just take it easy and do what I felt like doing. No stressing about numbers, no being upset that I didn't do better. No messy head games, just run when it say run and walk when it tells me to walk. Isn't it funny how messed up we can make even the simplest things when we let our minds get in the way!
I got on the treadmill and started giving it the ole' one-two...lol. It was a great looking day out today. I probably should have ran outside. But, with all the melting snow and run off...it's like a mud bog on our roads. The sunshine and blues skies did give me a heaping helping of Spring fever though, DANG!! I sure do miss summer morning runs.
The run itself went alright. The first set of 5 minutes and 3 minutes went great I felt good. That last 5 minutes really got me though. I had about 2 minutes left in me by that time. So after that, I had to slow it down for about a minute and then speed back up again for the last 2 minutes. But, I kept running. I was doing my walking at 3.0Mph and my running at 4.2MPH. Nice and easy for the b-day girl...lol.

The nitty gritty details:

Distance: 2.12 miles
Time: 33:13
Pace: 15:38

Week 4 Day 1 - Still going

I did it!!! Week 4 Day 1 is done!!
The first 5 min run was really not bad at all, but by the last one I was struggling a little. I think it was the weenie in me, trying to convince myself I couldn't do it. But, I battled that with mental chatter, "You can do it, Only one minute left, don't cheat yourself out this opportunity." and it worked... I pushed through and managed to finish. Yay me!!! I CAN do this...it is not too hard and I'm not too heavy to do it.

Week 3 Day 3 - Finally, the curse has been broken

Sheeeewwwww.....There it's done. I have completed week 3.
I took a long time to get through it I know. I just couldn't work overtime and run at the same time so I had to back off the running until I got back to my normal schedule. I was a little scared to go ahead and do day 3 after my extended break from running but I was able to pull through alright.

ON TO WEEK 4!!!

I'm back....I just tried to calibrate my Nike+ did the walk portion just fine.
3.1MPH for 1 mile no problem. On to the run, I can't run 1 mile straight yet...no way. So, I set it for 0.25 and ran that at 4.3MPH. After I was done I clicked done...it said it was to short to calibrate.....WTF??? Are you kidding me. I just barely got that out too. UGH, it's default is a 12 minute mile....I'm doing about a 14 minute mile....If I could do a mile. So all my runs are going to be off until either I can speed up....or I can build up enough stamina to go 0.50 miles straight...then I'll try it again.

Bummer...

Week 3 day 2 - No Time for anything...

so much overtime....
I haven't had time to squeeze in my run for week 3 day 3 yet...so I'm behind. I'm hoping to get a run in on Monday. I did however get my run in on Thursday 2/18/10, that was week 3 day 2 and it went pretty well. I still haven't gotten the hang of using my C25k app and my Nike+ together...although, I think I know what I need to do now...lol... Techno Toys...lol. they make things so complex.

Talk about a pain in the neck...

I finished week 3 but I didn't make it to week 4. I injured my shoulder and took last week off. I woke up last Tuesday morning in such misery. Only to find out that I had pulled a muscle in my shoulder. The one that runs from the back of your neck out the the top of the shoulder. It must have been a combination of the cleaning I did (rearranging furniture and such) and just sleeping wrong. Whatever it was...it hurt!!! So I spent the week taking muscle relaxers and sleeping...alot....lots of sleep...HARD sleep...lol. Today, my shoulder is still a bit tender but I still plan on running, and since I've missed a week I plan to do week 3 over again.

BBL

My Do-Over Week 3 day 1 run went like this...

Start Time: 7:51 PM
End Time: 8:20PM
Time Taken: 28:24
Pace: 16:32

Average Speed: 3.63 MPH
Distance: 1.71 Miles

W3D3 and a new toy!

Today's run was all messed up...but A W E S O M E.
Hubby got me an iPod touch and the C25K app to put on it. How sweet is he?

Then my challenge was to figure out how to run the Nike+ and the C25K app and have music all at the same time. It was a little confusing at first but eventually I got it going. Then I was walking, what I didn't know was it included a 5 minute stretch time before the 5 minute warm-up walk so I walked for 5 minutes and then it said beginning warm-up...so I actually walked for 10 minutes to warm up....lol. I gotta say though, man I don't know how I ever did the C25K without this app. all that adding 90secs and 3 minutes. Now all I do is listen and it tells me, "run now" ... "walk now". It's SOooooooo way better!!!! and my oldest son gets my old Ipod nano so he's happy too....lol.

Awesome app. Awesome ipod, Awesome hubby...lol.

My goofy W3D3 run went like this...

Start Time: 7:27 PM
End Time: 8:00PM
Time Taken: 28:00
Pace: 14:37

Average Speed: 4.10 MPH
Distance: 1.92 Miles

W3D2 it's starting to catch up with me

Today's run was a bit more difficult, the first 3 minute run went ok, but then the second 3 minute interval was killer. I was feeling the burn in my calf muscles and watching the time...crap...only a minute in...look away....it's been a little while now...look back... crap only 30 seconds???...lol...but I made it and I got yet another day in hurray! I'm thinking I might have to re-calibrate my Nike+ the walking is spot on, it totally matches the treadmill and the numbers make sense but, when I start running it makes me look just a little too awesome. Like today it said that at one point I was running a 10:22 pace which isn't possible when I have the treadmill set for 4.3MPH anywho...I'm thinking re-calibrate. Not sure when though.

W3D2's run went like this...

Start Time: 4:10 PM
End Time: 4:33 PM
Time Taken: 23:00
Pace: 14:22

Average Speed: 4.12 MPH
Distance: 1.59 Miles

Week 3

OH YEAH!!
I'm running strong into week 3. I was a little nervous about the running 3 minutes straight. Week 3 has defeated me before. Today was awesome. I made it through the 3 minutes eachtime, I kept my breathing under control and my legs were only a little fatigued throughout the workout. I'm looking forward to W3d2 on Thursday.


W3D1's run went like this...

Start Time: 1:13 PM
End Time: 1:36 PM
Time Taken: 23:00
Pace: 14:22

Average Speed: 4.17 MPH
Distance: 1.60 Miles

W2D3 - Better late than never

Well it took me till Monday to feel good enough to run again. But, I'm getting better now and I finished up week 2...even if I had to smoosh it into the beginning of week 3 ...lol. Week 3 I plan to run on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. That'll be 4 runs in this week instead of 3. That's ok though, I'm feeling good and none of my muscles are sore, so there's no worry about injury at this point.

W2D3's run went like this...

Start Time: 6:40 PM
End Time: 7:10 PM
Time Taken: 20:00
Pace: 14:55

Average Speed: 4.02 MPH
Distance: 1.36 Miles

W2D2

I got my C25K run in early in the day and boy am I glad I got to it when I did!! This evening I was so sick there is no way I would have been able to get on the treadmill. My head is pounding, my throat is sore, my back hurts, and I have cramps. I took some ibuprofen and that is helping some. I still had to go to work tonight too. So I'm sitting here typing and still feeling just miserable...but I got my run in for the day! Just in the nick of time!! Now tomorrow I can rest and hopefully I'll feel better enough by Saturday to get the last of run of week 2 in and be ready for week 3.

The C25K is going great for me. The runs are still challenging, but do-able. This is making me very happy. I can really use the confidence that I'm getting from the progress I'm making. This time around though...I'm not going nearly as fast. I'm so overweight now and so outta practice that I've been alternating between 3.3MPH for walking and 4.3 - 4.5MPH for running. Last year when I started the C25k I was bound-determined that the ONLY ACCEPTABLE speed was 4MPH for walking and 6MPH for running. That led me down a dangerous path of self hatred and defeat. It really doesn't matter how fast I go since the event that I'm ultimately training for is a half marathon. My focus this time is on distance NOT SPEED. Speed will come with time and increased physical fitness.



W2D2's run went like this...

Start Time: 1:03 PM
End Time: 1:23 PM
Time Taken: 20:00
Pace: 14:42

Average Speed: 4.08 MPH
Distance: 1.36 Miles

W2D1, still on track.

I did W1D3 on Sunday and then Tuesday I did W2D1 so I'm right on schedule, which is good since this has been the longest and suckiest week of my life. I just feel jinxed right now, it seems everything I touch shuts down, blows up, or smashes into a million pieces. I'm tired, I'm sick and I just wanna sleep until spring. I hope next week is better.



W2D1's run went like this.....

Start Time: 6:10 PM
End Time: 6:30 PM
Time Taken: 20:00
Pace: 15:16
Average Speed: 3.93 MPH
Distance: 1.33 Miles

W1D2

I got another run in. It went pretty well, I feel physically like I'm right in line with how fit you need to be to do week one. The workout is tough but not impossible and the recovery time is long enough. I really feel alot of hope this time around.

Today's run went like this.....

Start Time: 8:18 PM
End Time: 8:38 PM
Time Taken: 20:00
Pace: 15:33
Average Speed: 3.86 MPH
Distance: 1.30 Miles

W1D1 of the C25K all over again...

I started the C25k again. It's really from the couch too since I haven't really worked out since November...and even then it was short lived. I haven't been serious about running since last May...sad.

So today was about discovery. This is time 3 now of me starting the C25k, I'm getting to be an expert at starting this thing...now I need to figure out how to be an expert at finishing it...lol. But today eventhough I was slow and sweaty I did discover that I haven't lost everything. I did manage to run the entire 60 sec each time and I was able to recover in the 90 seconds of walking. That is actually SOMETHING. I didn't loose it all. So, that makes me happy. I completed W1D1 with a sense of hey...I can do this!! and that's probably most of the battle right there.


Start Time: 4:00 PM
End Time: 4:20 PM
Time Taken: 20:00
Pace: 16:00
Average Speed: 3.75 MPH
Distance: 1.27 Miles

Well...so much for that...

My running, or rather, walking spurt in November only lasted until Thanksgiving and then it died. But now we are finally through all the eating festivals and I can refocus and regroup for the new year. It's is my goal to do a half marathon this year. Walk, run, crawl, whatever, I'd just like to do that. So the first step is getting on the treadmill. Which I did yesterday. I got a mile in. About a 19 minute mile, coz I reallllllly didn't wanna do it. I was feeling VERY unmotivated. But, I did it anyway and once I was done I felt better.

So here's to the start of what will hopefully be a healthy, and happy New Year!!